Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
