at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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