no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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