one might say we're banned from that church
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
