So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
