He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she smelled like a LAN party
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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