Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
