Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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