I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
