You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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