Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
