Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
