im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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