I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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