i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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