those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize