It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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