Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My hand turned me down
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
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she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
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The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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