Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
