Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize