yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize