yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
someone owes me an orgasm
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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