you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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