I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
These tits shall not be calmed
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
