I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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