Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like a drive thru vagina
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
