Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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