he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
