you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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