Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nicole vs. Life
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
