i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
