Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
