He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
