They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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