My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
