You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
