I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
