NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
