wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
