Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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