And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
