Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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