office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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