You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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