Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just google imaged poop.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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