half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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