She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
