I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
