She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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