normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
