so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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