Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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