ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
