:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So much Jack, so little girl.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
