I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize